Linda M Rettig

We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the joining of two hearts. Through this ceremony today, Bride and Groom’s relationship will become stronger, better, and deeper. For out of the routine of ordinary life, the extraordinary happened. They met each other, fell in love and are finalizing it with their wedding. By setting forth to honor the vows they have created today, their lives, which began on separate paths, will be joined as one.

Who gives this woman to be married today? “Her mother and I”

Linda: Please be seated.

Today represents not only the joining of Bride and Groom but also the joining of their families and friends.

Bride and Groom would like to recognize and thank their parents on this occasion. They offer their profound gratitude for all the love and care you showed in raising them. The unconditional gifts of love and support that you have continually offered have inspired them to become who they are today. Without you, this day would not be possible.

To all their guests, they are happy to share this moment with you. They have known most of you for many years. You watched them grow up, you went to school with them, or you worked with them. Because you are the ones who have supported them and known them so well, it is only fitting that you are the ones to share this once-in-a-lifetime moment with them.

Every person here today will witness the words that they will speak to one another and the vows that they will make. You should take good care to remember these words; for a marriage needs the help of a community, of friends and family who will be there when needed and will do all that they can during hard times to stand by you and offer their support to you both.

This is also a day when we miss family members no longer with us. For Bride and Groom there are family members whose memories they hold dear that are represented by a candle and up front we have an empty chair for xxx who is with us in spirit. Each of these persons hold a presence in our hearts.

{Pause}

Bride and Groom, marriage is a bold step into an unknown future. It is a commitment between two people who love each other, who trust that love, and who wish to spend the rest of their lives together. Your marriage will nurture each of you as separate individuals and allow you to maintain your own unique identity and grow in your own way through the years, yet you will find ways to bring out the best in each other. It enables the two separate souls to share their desires, longings, dreams, and memories, their joys and sorrows, and to help each other through all uncertainties of life. It is the promise of a lifetime.

Each of us knows that a marriage is not created by a law or a ceremony; rather it occurs in the hearts of two human beings. This ceremony is not magic, it will not create a relationship that does not already exist and has not already been celebrated in all the commitments you have made to each other, both large and small, in the days since you first met and recognized your connection to one another.

As Bride and Groom prepared for the ceremony part of this wedding celebration, they reflected on what it is that they love about each other.

Groom, Bride says xxxxx

Bride, Groom says xxx

It is because of this love that we are here today. What is the meaning of love?

James Kavanaugh tell us:

To love is not to possess,

To own or imprison,

Nor to lose one’s self in another.

Love is to join and separate

To walk alone and together,

To find a laughing freedom

That lonely isolation does not permit.

It is finally to be able to be who we really are

No longer clinging in childish dependency

Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,

It is to be perfectly one’s self

And perfectly joined in permanent commitment

To another- and to one’s inner self.

Love only endures when it moves like waves,

Receding and returning gently or passionately

Or moving lovingly like the tide

In the moon’s own predictable harmony

Because finally, despite a child’s scars

Or an adults’ deeps wounds

They are openly free to be who they really are- and always secretly were,

In the very core of their being

Where true and lasting love can alone abide.

In Bride’s words - Love is xxx

In Groom’s words – Love is xxx

What is there about love that keeps it going. Here are the keys to love.

The Key to Love is understanding. The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word, but those unspoken gestures, the little things that say so much by themselves.

The Key to Love is forgiveness…to accept each other’s faults and pardon mistakes, without forgetting, but with remembering what you learned from them.

The Key to Love is sharing…facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together; both conquering problems, forever searching for ways to intensify your happiness.

The Key to Love is giving…without thought of return, but with the hope of just a simple smile, and by giving in but never giving up.

The Key to Love is respect…realizing that you are two separate people, with different ideas; that you don’t belong to each other, but you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.

The Key to Love is inside us all. It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients that you will take you to its threshold; it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work…but the rewards are more than worth the effort…and this is the key to love.

Through your love, you have chosen to make a union. You both look to a shared future that includes a richly lived life together. The years will come and go…you won’t take each other for granted, you will laugh a lot, you will grow older and wiser together.

Robert Fulghum has written words chosen by Bride and Groom that expresses what their union is.

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

 

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife.

Groom – you will be a husband. You said that marriage will xxx

Bride you will be a wife. You believe marriage xxx

In the words of Wilferd Peterson, we learn about marriage.

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens, a good marriage must be created.

In the art of marriage, the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon., it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other, it is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner, it is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.

Marriage is a bonding of your love.

Marriage is a joyous occasion. It is connected in our thoughts with the charm of love, the warmth of home, and with all that is pleasant, as being one of the most important events of our lives. Its sacredness and unity are the most significant and binding covenant known in human relations.

Bride and Groom, let me charge you both to remember that your future happiness is to be in mutual consideration, patience, kindness, confidence and affection. It is the duty of each of you to find your greatest joy in the company of the other; to remember that your love pledged today must remain undivided for a lifetime.

May the promises you make to one another today, be lived out to the end of your lives. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins.

Bride and Groom, do you, with your family and friends as your witnesses, present yourselves willingly and of your own accord to be joined in marriage? Answer - [We do]

Will you promise to care for each other in the joys and sorrows of life, come what may, and to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together? Answer - [We do]

Having heard that it is your intention to be married to each other, I now ask you to declare your marriage vows. Bride and Groom the vows you wrote are a way to speak from your heart to one another. The words convey your love and confirms those things you’ve promised and hoped and dreamed.

Please face each other and hold hands and share your vows.

Bride reads her vows.

Groom reads his vows.

Bride and Groom have chosen to exchange rings to symbolize their commitment.

The ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Your wedding rings are the outward and visible signs of the inward and invisible bond which already unites your two hearts in love.

The promises which you have spoken to each other today are inscribed forever in your minds, in your hearts. Let these rings serve as a reminder of the feelings you have in your hearts at this very moment.

Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver for each is the giver and each is the receiver. It is customarily worn on the ring finger as it is the only finger with a vein running directly to the heart. May these rings always remind you of the vows you have taken.

Linda: Groom, please take Bride’s hand and repeat these words.

Linda: I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,

Groom: I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,

Linda: for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.

Groom: for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.

Linda: Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day

Groom: Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day

Linda: and know that my love is present,

Groom: and know that my love is present,

Linda: even when I am not.

Groom: even when I am not.

*Groom puts ring on Bride’s finger

Repeat for Bride

*Bride puts ring on Groom’s finger.

May the wedding rings you exchanged today remind you always that you are surrounded by enduring love.

Your wedding day is one that seems to fly. It’s a day filled with emotion, friends, rings and dances. Many people remember how fleeting their own wedding day was. So I want you to take a few seconds to look into each other’s eyes. Think about the happiness that you’re feeling in this place, in this moment. Really let that feeling register in your heart and your mind.

Now I want you to think about your life together in twenty years. Where are you? What are you doing? We all know that your visions of the future are not identical, but always complementary. John Lennon once said “a dream alone is only a dream, a dream you dream together. That is reality.” That reality starts now.

Deep abiding affection, the magical and compelling shared impulse that makes us seek each other’s company, is among the greatest gifts of the human experience. Any of us who has been fortunate enough to find and express the kind of loving devotion that we are celebrating here today knows that it is an awesome and beautiful thing. At this time, I would like to share 3 suggestions with the both of you:

My first suggestion is this: Be constantly grateful for this precious person who has chosen to make a life with you.

My second suggestion is this: Be generous with compliments. Be attentive and helpful. The world can be a tough place and any of us can be subject to rough handling. Each of you can, by your tenderness toward each other, kind words and thoughtful actions, make your marriage and your home an uplifting refuge.

Last, but perhaps most importantly: Make truth the unfailing bedrock of your lives together. A happy, loving marriage is built on trust and respect. That trust and respect can only be sustained if you are both deeply committed to always being open and truthful in every exchange no matter how small.

My hope for you is this: That you have many long years to delight in each other’s company, to feel gratitude for your great fortune in having found each other. To a make home together that is at once sheltering and welcoming, to each do meaningful, productive work at home and in the world and to love and be loved by the friends and family who have come here today to support you.

May your life together be blessed with prosperity and good health. May you always share open and honest communication between each other. May you respect each other’s individual talents and gifts and give full support to each other’s professional and personal pursuits. May you cherish the home and family you will create together.

May all the years to come be filled with moments to celebrate and renew your love. May your love be a life-long source of excitement, contentment, affection, respect, and devotion for one another.

By the power invested in me by the State of Michigan and American Marriage Ministries I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Groom you may kiss your bride.

Ladies and gentleman, it is my great honor and privilege to present to you for the very first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs.xxx